- Middle age crisis
- Tipping point in middle age in men
- Lack of middle age in women
— Main causes of SWR
- symptoms of a crisis
How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman
How can I help my husband overcome his midlife crisis?
- How to save a marriage during crises with spouses?
- Conclusion

Middle age crisis - a long-term emotional state () associated with a reassessment of one's experience in middle age, when many of the opportunities that a person dreamed of in childhood and adolescence are already irretrievably missed (or seem to be missed), and the onset of one's own old age is assessed as an event with a very real time (not "sometime in the future").

Midlife crisis is a term that characterizes a difficult emotional and psychological period of life for both men and women. During this period, a person begins to rethink his life, draw conclusions, and most often this happens with a very negative connotation, accompanied by depression, opposition to everything, and many other actions that were not even inherent before. Because of this, this period is called a crisis, as a person experiences a deep personal crisis.

In men and women, the midlife crisis most often manifests itself at the age of 35-45 - this, as a rule, but, nevertheless, this period can come at 50 years, because each human body is purely individual. Based on medical statistics, women experience a midlife crisis earlier, they experience it somewhere at the age of 35, when men are more close to 40. That is why this crisis is of middle age, since it occurs in middle age, approximately at 40 years.

As for the duration of the midlife crisis, then again, for each person this period has its own duration. For some, this period can last from several months to a year, and for someone even a whole decade. Everything will depend not only on the individual characteristics of a person, but also on his past, position in society, career, family atmosphere, support, etc.

Tipping point in middle age in men

For men, SWR is usually associated with reaching a certain ceiling in a career (or, conversely, with the understanding that the desired heights will never be reached). As a result - apathy, depression, lack of motivation. A healthy way out of the crisis is the setting of new tasks and striving for new meanings.

In a woman, SWR is usually associated with hormonal changes and the understanding that very soon she will no longer be able to give birth to offspring, just a couple more years - and that's it.

It is at this age that women desperately want to have a baby (or another baby) and are willing to pay almost any price for it.

The direction of the female crisis may be somewhat different than that of men. For many women in this time is characterized by the desire for creativity, which has a magical variability.

Creative thirst can also be expressed as:

People who have a difficult period during this period may experience:

- dissatisfaction with life, with their own style, despite the fact that all their lives they were satisfied and happy with everything;

- boredom, fatigue from everything and everyone;

- resentment and doubts whether they are there, whether they are with that, bitterness from a lived marriage;

- the desire for a new love or connection;

— understanding the need for change;

- a feeling of embarrassment from yourself, work and life;

- inability to make specific decisions.

The causes of the midlife crisis can be caused not only by the internal experiences of a person, but also by external factors. For example, a person may experience stress that enhances emotional sensations, or a problem from a distant childhood that he did not know about before may come to the surface.

There are some other causes of the midlife crisis due to external factors, for example, a very serious one is debt. If a person has a lot of loans, and in our time this is very important, but there is no way to pay, then it is very easy to fall into a protracted depression. And it happens that only a specialist is able to get out of this difficult state. Seek help, otherwise solving the problem will be very painful for both you and the family.

The loss of a close relative may also be an external cause of a midlife crisis, sometimes a person is unable to cope with such grief. If a loved one was a support, then there may be a loss of the meaning of life and, as a result, severe stress.

There are people who try to avoid conflict in any relationship, constantly worrying about low self-esteem, keeping their distance from people. As a result, this situation, one way or another, leads them to a very serious crisis. And because such people cannot afford to ask for help, the crisis becomes even deeper and more serious. Usually they do not even seek solutions, but try to avoid them. It is at this age that people often begin to divorce.

In general, it does not matter what causes of the midlife crisis are manifested in a person, external or internal, but it happens that a person, having passed this period, regrets the decisions made.

Crisis Symptoms

— Depression.
- Self-pity.
- Devastation.
Feeling trapped, career or marriage trapped.
Feeling that life is unfair.
— External manifestations.
- Refusal of what has been achieved, despite the positive assessment of achievements by others.
- Loss of interest in many previously significant aspects of life. That is, in many ways.
- Changing the circle of reference persons: the opinion of random people may become more significant.
- Changing value orientations.
- More free, eccentric behavior.

How to overcome a midlife crisis for a woman

First of all, you must understand that you have entered a period of midlife crisis, this can be determined from personal observations, based on the signs of this period described by us above.

It is very important that you do not withdraw into yourself and do not move away from your family, and most importantly - from your other half. Yes, in this period it is sometimes even useful to be alone with yourself: to think, reason, draw some conclusions, but this should not go too far.

If you have begun to quarrel frequently with your husband, then it may be worth sitting down with him in a quiet environment and discussing the situation.

It is equally important to draw the right conclusions from your career. If you have a stable and confident income, you work in a good place and with a good team, and also enjoy authority, then this is already considered an achievement.

Often, a midlife crisis in women is accompanied not only by a rethinking of their career achievements, but also of marriage. This problem must be solved together with the husband, and not accumulate it all in yourself and blame him for being such and such.

If you have a period of midlife crisis - try to take a vacation and just take a break from everything. can be found on the internet.

How can I help my husband overcome his midlife crisis?

Give your husband time to be alone with his thoughts. At the same time, "do not miss it", and do not let it move away from you both physically and mentally. Try to spend more time with the whole family, and just the two of you.

Support your husband in all his affairs, show very sensitive care, affection and tenderness during this period, but so that it is not too intrusive. Become an integral part of his life.

Become a psychologist for him, let him speak out to you: what worries him, what he dreamed and dreams about, what he would like to change both in his and in your family life. If at the same time he says something that will be unpleasant for you, it is unnecessary to show a negative reaction - he was sincere with you and opened his soul to you, since you are a dear person to him. Help him understand himself by directing him in the right direction.

How to save a marriage during midlife crises in spouses?

If your marriage has lost its former inspiration, or if you want to survive a midlife crisis while keeping your family together, then talk to your husband. Create a relaxing romantic setting for this and talk about your relationship. Remember how you met, how you met and, of course, your wedding. Talk about your family, moving the conversation smoothly to what you like and don't like about your relationship - and you would like to change. But here it is very important that this conversation be with an open mind, and not become the subject of a quarrel. After such a conversation, try to summarize your mutual desires and find a common plan for their implementation.

Add something new to your relationship. Call each other several times during the day or exchange SMS messages.

Conclusion

The midlife crisis is another scourge of modern society, which today has taken on enormous proportions. Many people do not realize the full depth of such a problem, and do not know how to survive this difficult period with the least losses.

According to statistics, most people on our planet are faced with a similar problem, which can lead to rather complex consequences. That is why this article describes in detail all the causes and consequences of such a crisis and how to overcome it, saving your family.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

Have you noticed how a man you know, a person who is fully accomplished, as a person, as a professional in his field and as a wonderful family man, for no reason becomes not himself, as if he was replaced? A man leaves his beloved wife, abandons his own children, is constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, closes in on himself, changes his profession, or is going to cross the ocean in a rowing boat all alone apart from a dog at the age of 40, and does other things without foreseeing actions. In general, a man acts as if you have a completely different person in front of you, but not the guy you have known for 25 years, since school. It's like a person has been changed!

Sometimes a man changes beyond recognition, he is not recognized not only by acquaintances and friends, but even by the closest people, family. In many such cases, even the men themselves cannot understand what is happening to them. Therefore, the task of loved ones and relatives is to help a man overcome the midlife crisis and support a man at a new life stage. After all, a midlife crisis in men is a stage during which males reconsider their attitude towards themselves, as well as their attitude towards the outside world. There comes a period of reassessment of the usual views on life, a change of foundations and values.

The midlife crisis in men has its advantages, which help to realize the fact that life does not stand still, and even with age, something needs to change in it, you need to live in a new way and gratefully accept all the gifts of adulthood.

In many cases, symptoms of a midlife crisis include:

• Depression, loss of meaning in life.
• It may seem to a man that he made a mistake in choosing a profession, a place of work, as well as in choosing a life partner.
• Loss of significance of all material achievements, family happiness, complete disappointment in people.
• The life lived seems unfair and boring.
• Complete dissatisfaction.
• The desire to turn your world around, to replace routine work is not known for what.
• Family life, circle of friends and acquaintances acquire a “taste” of monotony.
• For strangers, a midlife crisis in a man causes misunderstanding and condemnation. In turn, the man believes that his environment (people) treat him with incomprehension, refuse support, so there can be nothing in common with them and even nothing to talk about with them.

In social circles, such a phenomenon as a midlife crisis is called the "revolt of the forties", but in fact, a crisis in men can occur at 30 and 50 years. Everything happens very individually. As a rule, men begin to experience such a difficult period after thirty years. It would be correct to single out the word “begin”, because it is precisely such a stage in life that may not last a month or a year, but may be a whole decade long. The stage of crisis is one of the most difficult and dramatic periods in a man's life. In terms of the strength of experiences and emotional instability, a midlife crisis can be compared with adolescence in boys. It is worth adding that both periods, adolescence and midlife crisis have many similar emotional experiences.

Causes of a midlife crisis in men

Most often, during a midlife crisis, all problems from the past, from adolescence, that have calmed down before, emerge “outside”. You could even say that a man is going through a second transitional period of growing up. If a man in the past, in adolescence, could not get out of the zone of influence of his relatives (mom, dad) in time, then after 30-40 years a man begins to realize that until that moment he lived and thought not by his own desires, but acted according to foreign "laws". And now he wants to create his own "laws" himself. From here comes the natural craving and desire to know oneself, to find one's own path. This stage in life is not just a crisis - it is a global and final restructuring of a man, his values, his views on the world, on people and on himself.

Not all men experience a crisis because they are influenced by complexes from adolescence, more often there are other reasons for this:

Reason 1: success

Yes, it is the success of a man aged 30-50 that plays a huge role in his life. Around the age of 30-40, men achieve a certain professional growth and status in their careers. Here the man stops and asks himself questions: “Where to go next? How to live on? After all, the summit has already been reached, where should I go? How to stay on this peak and not fall? After all, from behind, on the way to the top, young and carefree guys are pushing. Can I change my profession? What if I don't have the strength? Maybe I'm too old for this business? Will I have enough time to achieve a new goal? Will I be able to do everything? and other questions.

Reason 2: age-related changes

Biological time goes forward and physiological and age-related changes occur in the body of every man, the male body begins to age. A man has changes in appearance, libido becomes lower, the hormonal background is unstable, his strength is gone. Not all men can accept such very difficult psychological and physiological changes. Especially in a society where there is a propaganda of youth, a beautiful inflated body, ideal beauty, vigor of the body and strength of mind.

Reason 3: social value

In the course of life, the social role of a man changes: from a little boy he becomes an adult man, from a junior probationer he becomes the head of a department, from a freedom-loving guy he becomes a responsible family man who provides material and spiritual benefits for himself, his wife and children. Then the man comes at a time when the parents are aging, and some parents, unfortunately, die. Not all men are ready for such turns of events and such changes in life - a complete reversal of roles. After all, you have to take responsibility for many other people: a wife, elderly parents, teenage children with their own problems, etc. Therefore, in the end, a man becomes depressed, he understands that almost all of his life achieved, did everything for himself and his family, so what will happen next? Old age? Without purpose and meaning?

The dangers of the crisis

During a crisis, the most dangerous is the depressive point of view: I can’t do anything, life is lost, who needs me old, etc. Such self-pity must be cut down at the root, because each age has its advantages. You need to look at the world from a positive point of view: everything will work out, I'm just starting to live, I accept the world as it is and let the world accept me as I am. Any praise, any kind word in relation to oneself and to one's age, social position can significantly cheer up and look at the world differently.

Also, the danger lies in wait for men in making lightning-fast decisions to change everything drastically once and for all. For example, this can include the desire to leave the family, take unreasonable risks, give up everything, sell the house, give money to the poor and go to live in Tibet as a wanderer, and so on. All radical decisions may bring a change in life, but they are self-deception and in the end will only fill the soul with sadness. After all, you can’t run away from yourself, the illusion is beautiful, but you need to change the world inside yourself.

A crisis in men can be a wonderful rebirth, a new stage for take-off and the start of new ideas, as well as achievements.

This does not mean that you need to radically change all the usual foundations and lifestyle, you can only continue to develop and boldly follow your own path. A man needs to evaluate the time he has lived, all the important situations, accept all the past experiences, rethink his desires and expectations, accept himself as new, thank himself for what he has achieved and continue to achieve even more in the new period of life. After all, life is valued not by the years lived, but by how much joy and elation there was in it.

It is important to audit the life path, to realize the fact that every person grows up and comes to an age where everything seems to have been achieved and there is no goal. But a midlife crisis is not a sentence, and therefore it should be treated like a game of chess, life makes a move and you go out to meet it. Therefore, it is worth considering all your actions, being more in high spirits and not forgetting that all problems are solved, no matter how difficult they may seem.

Look at some of the grandpas who bloom at 60 like guys in their 20s. They do what they love, sports, look for new goals and do not lose heart. While others are already burying themselves after 45 years, they say, life is lost, there is no point and you don’t want to look for it. But there is a point! You need to accept your fate and your life path, accept yourself as you are already now. Try to find like-minded people, change the psychological environment, find those goals that make you smile and from which there is a desire to live.

It all depends on the man, on how much he wants and can accept his physiological and psychological changes, problems, and much depends on the strength to look straight into the eyes of his new future.

How to help a man overcome a midlife crisis?

• Be patient, support the man and don't react to his mood swings. Try to get through this period with understanding.
• Be prepared for the fact that such a period can last a long time, in some cases it drags on for many years.
• Do not blame the man, it is also hard for him now. Give the man time to realize his needs, and decide on his desires.
• Do not insist that the man go to the doctor. Don't give him advice and don't force him to follow it.
• Wife and children should not react sharply to changes in the father's condition. Give him the opportunity to be alone.
• Do not make scandals and scenes of jealousy, do not reproach or blame the man for what happened.
• Keep yourself in control, even if a man behaves disgustingly. Give him time to change his mind.
• Show him that you love him in spite of everything and are always ready to give him a helping hand.
• Do not threaten a man, do not manipulate children, housing, etc.
• If a man began to seek salvation in alcohol or smoking, try to talk softly with him.
• Show him all your love and care.
• If a man decides to leave the family, do not keep him, no matter how strange it may sound.
• If a man decides to change his field of activity - support him, inspire life in him with your faith in him.

How to survive a midlife crisis in men

Very rarely, there are cases when a midlife crisis comes unnoticed and passes without much change. In any case, a midlife crisis brings some changes to a man's life. Therefore, all disagreements and conflicts must be resolved immediately and at the first stage of their appearance. You need to be able to find a compromise.

• A man should be prepared for a change in the psychological state, for mood swings, for rash (spontaneous) actions. The main thing to understand is that this is only a period that must be passed with dignity. This is a kind of second transitional age. But life goes on and there is a place for young people, adults and grandparents. Try not to listen to others that 45 years is almost old age. No, this is not old age, for a man of 45-50 years old, this is the second youth, and there is no time for sadness, you have to have time to enjoy life.
• In family relationships, there will also be changes, do not expect that the relationship with your wife will remain the same as 5 years ago. There is no avoiding the fact that the passion is blunted, but there are many options in order to refresh the relationship and bring new fire into them. Buy a ticket and go on a trip with your wife, relax by the sea, go skiing, etc. This is what the crisis is for, to evaluate the past and make the future even more wonderful.
• A man should go in for sports, keep his body in good shape. We all know that mental health and physical health are interrelated. Therefore, moderate exercise and proper nutrition will help maintain overall health in order.
• A man should find a hobby. It can be anything, even collecting radio-controlled toy cars, any activity that a man likes.
• If a man cannot overcome this period on his own, he should consult a doctor. The doctor will help you go through a difficult period, tell you how to survive this stage in life. In especially severe cases, when men lose the meaning of life and become depressed, the doctor may prescribe special medications and a healthy diet for the man in order to return to normal more quickly and painlessly.

Those men who have survived all the turning points of the midlife crisis jokingly say about this time "Gray hair in the head, demon in the rib." But at the same time, they always emphasize that life after 40 years is only the very beginning of an exciting journey called life. The midlife crisis in men is not a reason to be sad, because every new day can bring wonderful moments of joy and a new meaning in life.

By definition, an age crisis is a transitional period between age stages, which a person inevitably experiences during the transition from one age stage to another upon completion of certain stages of development. This crisis is due to physiological shifts and changes in the body, functional restructuring, and such a crisis is called normal, since it accompanies a person throughout his life. But already the peculiarity of the course of the age crisis depends on the temperament of a person, his character, individual, biological and social relations. During a crisis, a person becomes unstable and even weak external stimuli can respond unjustifiably emotionally, violently, aggressively.

In a state of real crisis, the emotional sphere of a person changes. He may experience one of three dominant feelings: depression, destructive feelings, or loneliness.

depressive reaction manifests itself in such feelings as apathy, indifference, disappointment, fatigue, melancholy, depression, indifference.

To destructive feelings irritability, anger, resentment, aggression, hatred, annoyance, stubbornness, captiousness, suspiciousness, envy.

Loneliness expressed in such experiences as a feeling of uselessness, misunderstanding, impasse, hopelessness, emptiness nearby.

In a person in crisis, the volume of communication changes: it is either sharply limited, i.e. a person withdraws into himself, or increases sharply, loneliness in the crowd is experienced. A person, as it were, is looking for oblivion in the frequency of superficial contacts with other people. There are patterns of experiencing a crisis that are more typical for women and more typical for men.

Schemes characteristic of women are associated with communication. Stereotypes allow a woman to show herself weak, share her problems, ask for help in solving them. Similar behavior in men is not approved and not welcomed by society. Therefore, men are characterized by a pattern of inner experience. It assumes the ability to independently cope with the situation, independence in decision-making. Therefore, in men, the external absence of signs of a crisis does not mean its absence in reality.

Tension can grow inside a person, accumulate and express itself in an auto-aggressive way, including suicidal. In addition, during a crisis, a woman is more likely to display aggressive emotions and aggressive behavior than a man.

By what signs can we determine the beginning of an approaching crisis?

The very first thing is the presence of a problem that creates discomfort that extends to many areas of life. Trouble at work, we can’t get distracted from it either at home, or on vacation, or when meeting with friends, this is one thought that has firmly settled in our heads and spins day and night like a broken record. Accordingly, the mental state begins to affect the physiology: sleep is lost, appetite is lost, what was previously enjoyed does not bring pleasure. Then, relationships with others and loved ones change for the worse. We are irritated by things that we have not paid attention to before. There is a feeling that they do not understand us and do everything to spite us. Predisposition to crisis conditions is especially high in children, adolescents and older people. The risk group for the development of crisis conditions also includes people with physical exhaustion, having a psychological trauma, who have experienced a severe loss.

A crisis is not a dead end, but some kind of contradiction that each of us has to go through on the way of his growing up. A person who has survived a crisis always becomes stronger because he has an experience that he did not have before the crisis. Age crises occur at the junction of two ages and characterize the completion of one stage of development and the beginning of another. This period is characterized by the rejection of the old, when a person loses some of what was acquired before. The central neoplasm for a certain age carries a motivating force and becomes the starting point for the formation of the personality of a person of the next age.

When faced with a crisis period, people develop different types of coping behavior.

The first type is problem-solving behavior. The main direction of behavior is adaptation to changing conditions.

The second type is regression. Here, behavior is based on children's forms of behavior, which in infancy made it possible to overcome the problem by shifting responsibility to others. The most common types of regression are alcoholism and drug addiction.

The third type is denial. The perception of reality is distorted in such a way as if the problem disappears by itself. Inertia begins to dominate - a state of inaction, based on the opinion of a person that nothing can be done in this situation, and any action is doomed to failure.

As indicators of a crisis state, the following symptoms are distinguished: decreased performance, stagnation, decrease and change in motivation, instability, inadequacy of self-esteem, fuzziness of one's own professional ideas, inadequate emotional reaction, inadequacy of behavior.

Crisis of 33 years (youth: 20-40 years). A person begins to realize his own limitations, real possibilities. There is a final farewell to youth. The construction of their own nest, a future stable life, is in full swing. Long-term friendships are growing cold. Men at this time usually have their first permanent mistress, get involved in a career, devote less time to the house and the child. Emancipated women experience the crisis of this age in the same way as men, and the rest experience depression from a decrease in the attention of a spouse in conditions of deep psychological and social dependence on him. One of the hallmarks of this crisis is the desire to change professions. At this point, many people change jobs, start their own business, or radically change their line of work.

At 38-40 years old (Adult: 40-60 years old) a mid-life crisis unfolds, a period of extraordinary life changes. The main achievements at this age are a high level of professionalism, personal maturity, and a high level of reflection. The character traits, the boundaries of the psychological image have already been formed, religious, economic, social, political interests and value personalities are stabilizing, the professional trajectory is clearly outlined. Closer to the age of 40, a person begins to clearly realize how much his dreams and life plans diverge from the course and result of their implementation. At this age, youthful maximalism and excessive emotionality, mental and behavioral cruelty, inability and unwillingness to adapt and adapt to changing conditions of life are inadequate. The number of problems in adult life is increasing, what they will be, and how ready we are for them is unknown. A person should be aware of and be able to assess the real state of things, be ready to solve problems, and not complain about the bad luck and deceit of life.

Elderly crisis (60-80 years) affects changes in three main areas: intellectual, emotional and moral. Everything that previously did not cause difficulties - counting values, remembering names, dates - is perceived with difficulty. People do not remember well what is happening to them now, but they remember the events of distant years very well. A person has bouts of causeless sadness, tearfulness. On a completely insignificant occasion, a strong nervous overexcitation arises, for example, watching a movie about past times, and an association with the fact that it is not a pity for the times, but a pity for being young in those times. Broken crockery - it’s not the crockery that is a pity, but the fact that a piece of memory leaves with it, because this service was bought for the 50th anniversary. New norms of behavior, clothes, habits of spending free time, etc. are denied. The attitude to many aspects of life is changing. For an elderly person, his relevance, his self-affirmation are important. Work from a means of life becomes the meaning of life. The central symptom of a crisis in old age is the fear of death.

In addition to age crises, there is another surprisingly important concept on which it is appropriate to focus special attention. This is psychological aging (growing up), which does not depend on the passport age.

Here at the first stage connection is maintained with the type of activity that is leading for a person, i.e. directly related to the profession (usually teachers, doctors, artists, scientists).

On the second stage there is a narrowing of the circle of interests due to the loss of professional attachments. In communication with others, conversations on everyday topics predominate, only television news, series, neighbors, etc. are discussed. In groups of such people it is already difficult to make out the level of education, the level of intellectual development.

Third stage- talking only about your health: what medicines, what methods of treatment, what herbs, etc., etc. without getting tired. In newspapers, magazines, and TV shows, attention is paid only to these topics. The local doctor becomes the best listener.

Look around you, look around. I think that without difficulty you can name more than one person or two, more, much more of those who are not old, not even retired, and the crisis seems to have passed or has not simply grown up to it, but has grown psychologically old. Became old at heart. When physiologically he is still young, full of strength, but ... his soul is empty, and from the age of 35, at best, or even from 28, he firmly settled on the second or third, or even at the same time on these two stages of his psychological aging. Voluntary aging! Conscious and diligently acquired! And then there will be the fourth and fifth stages: the circle of communication narrows to the limit, the exposure of needs of a purely vital nature (food, rest, sleep); emotionality and communication fade away.

What is happening to us anyway? Are age crises really so terrible for a person, harmful, dangerous and are the cause of all our ups and downs, failures and misfortunes? Is psychological aging associated with them? Or is it psychological aging that is paramount and has a destructive effect on age-related crises? Or again, both concepts are nothing more than another convenient screen for masking one's own vices (laziness, cowardice, egocentrism, etc.). I think that it makes no sense to give specific examples on this topic. More than enough of them can be found in any article, both here and in any psychological journal. Everything is not as difficult and scary in fact, as they prefer to present. Again it comes down to the question: "How far are we ready to go, to what level to sink, what other reasons and reasons to find, what barriers to create with our own hands in front of ourselves, just not to notice the obvious - all the problems are in ourselves?" Why are they trying to make the ordinary physiological process responsible for everything that happens to us, and starting from early childhood? When you listen to the myths and legends about the crisis of three years - hair on end! Poor kids! What can we say about the teenage crisis or the crisis of 40 years?! But when you begin to explain elementary physiology (an introductory anatomy course of an ordinary high school), what is really happening to us and why, where it comes from, how it interacts, it somehow immediately becomes obvious that the concept of crisis is closely adjacent to the concepts of "character", "personality", and even "habits", "education", "level of education", etc. “To live means to change, to change means to grow up, and to grow up means to constantly create oneself”, as well as “we either make ourselves miserable and unhappy, or we ourselves make ourselves strong - the amount of effort expended remains the same”. So if we, excuse me, not only didn’t strain half our lives in creating ourselves, in strengthening ourselves, but we didn’t take a step along the road to ourselves, but only did that we recognized the next crises and fought with them, at the same time signing in front of ourselves yourself and everyone around you in your own impotence in front of this monster, then what can be said here? No matter how strange it may sound, it means that it was convenient and profitable. Convenient and profitable, if only not to work on yourself ...

In a literal sense, a crisis is a separation of roads, a separation of life paths. Crisis experience always includes stress and uncertainty, generates tension and anxiety. A crisis means the loss of some existing life form to which we are accustomed, but it means the acquisition of a new opportunity to enter a new life form that we ourselves do not know. . A crisis marks the end of one stage of development and the beginning of another. This is the life of a person in its highest, actual form, the awareness of a deep contradiction within oneself and the way out of this contradiction, which requires the concentration of all the physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual forces of a person. Of course, on one condition. Provided that we develop... Provided that our shell has a worthy filling, there is a backbone, there is fortitude. For a whole person, an age crisis is more a norm than a pathology.

And for people who are primitive, limited, by the way, crises and intrapersonal conflicts practically do not occur, for them everything is simple in life. And it is right.

outlook

21.10.2016

Snezhana Ivanova

The midlife crisis is a certain stage in a person's life path, when there is a need to reassess values, rethink the lived experience.

- this is a certain stage in a person's life path, when there is a need for a reassessment of values, a rethinking of lived experience. As a rule, a person ceases to be satisfied with her position at the present moment in time. I want to reach a completely new level of development, reach heights that previously seemed inaccessible.

The midlife crisis covers the time frame from 35 to 45 years. For women, this crisis begins earlier, for men - a little later. The mid-life crisis itself is associated with a rethinking of one's role in life, the search for the meaning of existence. That is why the crisis is called a landmark, global one - it always brings discoveries with it. A properly lived midlife crisis contributes to personal growth, the disclosure of a person’s potential, the emergence of new perspectives and opportunities.

The main reason for the development of a midlife crisis is the inability to live based on previous beliefs. Strange as it may seem, experts often compare it to teenage rebellion. Such a comparison can be partly considered appropriate for the reason that a person begins to behave extremely recklessly and irrationally, doing stupidity after stupidity. At this moment, it seems that the usual way of life is collapsing and there is nothing good left that could greatly please. People begin to rush through life, do not know how to get out of the crisis. The midlife crisis is a very difficult test that does not pass anyone. Every time in life you have to go through this difficult period. It can last from several months to several years.

midlife crisis symptoms

Like any crisis, a midlife crisis has its own characteristic manifestations. The symptoms of the crisis cannot be confused with anything - they are so bright that they immediately catch the eye. What are these symptoms? Let's consider in more detail.

Thoughts of impending old age

Unfortunately, the first thing a person in crisis begins to think about is inevitable old age. The symptoms of the crisis are very clear. Of course, no one gets younger with age. However, quite recently, a young person begins to imagine that the most beautiful time of life has irrevocably passed and nothing can stop the passage of time. Many even begin to feel that they have become less attractive physically. Sadness adds the appearance of gray hair, wrinkles and some ailments. A still not at all old person feels how the body begins to fade gradually and does not want to agree with these changes.

A midlife crisis often takes us by surprise, disarms us, makes us very disappointed in ourselves and our own abilities. It seems that youth has irrevocably passed, and the dreams of youth are buried somewhere behind everyday worries.

Dissatisfaction with achievements

A significant symptom of the crisis is strong dissatisfaction with the results. The midlife crisis is characterized by the appearance of a feeling of mute hopelessness. It begins to seem to a person that he has not achieved anything so far, and life irrevocably passes. Dissatisfaction with achievements extends mainly to the field of activity in which a person works, but can go beyond it. Literally everything begins to dissatisfy: the position, salary, own potential, which, it seems, has nowhere to apply. People usually do not celebrate their fortieth birthday joyfully - that is why most people simply do not celebrate this anniversary. In fact, forty years is not a long time. If men and women really could appreciate the achievements, then the degree of psychological satisfaction would increase significantly.

It must be admitted that in creative people, the midlife crisis manifests itself more powerfully and more intensely for the reason that they are more acutely experiencing the changes taking place with them and are extremely sensitive to any changes.

Dissatisfaction with personal relationships

Another characteristic symptom of a midlife crisis is strong dissatisfaction with having a relationship with their other half. The past years seem like a ridiculous mistake, which, moreover, there is no time to correct. People in crisis cannot make informed decisions. Their actions and actions are guided by emotions. A partner who has been around for many years suddenly begins to annoy. People gradually begin to show dissatisfaction and accuse each other. So resentment accumulates, disappointments arise. The crisis forces us to reconsider this aspect of life as well. During a crisis, both men and women often do stupid things: they decide to divorce, quickly change partners, forget about their daily duties. Many later regret their decision - when nothing can be corrected. Dissatisfaction with personal relationships arises due to the search for new opportunities and not always a problem with a partner really exists.

Men are so arranged that they experience any crisis much more acutely than women. The age crisis for them becomes a serious cause for concern and depression. Bad mood, doubts about one's masculinity, unwillingness to do anything - these are just small manifestations of a midlife crisis.

Degree of social success

This area is being revised for the reason that it is extremely important for every man to realize himself in society. The representative of the stronger sex wants to feel wanted and needed. At work, he needs to achieve realization. Only then will he feel truly satisfied. The degree of social success determines the power of the crisis. The more unclaimed a man feels as a specialist, the stronger the crisis manifests itself. He may have worries associated with the timely payment of salaries. A man wants to feel like the main earner and support of the family, so it is important for him to maintain his status.

The need for female attention

The midlife crisis is especially pronounced in relationships with the opposite sex. In the case of a man, the crisis forces him to constantly seek female attention. You need to understand that a man in this period needs attention, he wants to be admired. His inner being yearns for inspiration, self-discovery, flight, fantasy. For a moment, it may seem that youthful dreams and aspirations are returning to him. A man wants someone to look at him with enthusiastic eyes, imbued with sincere respect. The need for female attention makes him pay attention to young girls. It is they who more often evaluate his romantic aspirations and impulses. The wife becomes a stranger who does not understand anything, so the man often moves away from the family.

Women who have entered a period of crisis also urgently need to feel needed. They want attention, interested looks, romance. But they do not always get what they so selflessly desire. Women suffer from the crisis no less than men. What is the middle age crisis for the beautiful half? Let's try to figure it out!

Feelings about appearance

The crisis necessarily affects the relationship of the beautiful half with itself. Attitude towards her appearance changes when a woman begins to notice the first expressive wrinkles. She no longer enjoys looking at her reflection. She may suffer from a lack of male attention, think that no one else will ever be interested in her. The situation is aggravated by the fact that a woman, as a rule, realizes that she is “soon to be forty years old” quite suddenly. The midlife crisis here is manifested in the desire to prolong youth, to make oneself well-groomed and attractive. That is why visiting beauty salons becomes a real outlet, even a necessity.

Regret for broken dreams

Women, especially ambitious ones, want self-realization with all the strength of their souls. Only in the period of 35-40 years does anything cease to please them. And then she begins to bitterly recall what she dreamed of in her youth, analyzes why she failed to achieve this. Regret about unfulfilled dreams is a sure sign of a midlife crisis. It seems that the person is still full of vitality and energy, has achieved everything he wanted, but feels that he has gone the wrong way.

Separation from children

By the time a midlife crisis occurs in a woman, her children in most cases reach adolescence. There is a mutual separation from each other. The woman would love to get close to her children again, but she can't. Her own crisis focuses her on what is happening inside. These changes contribute to the formation of new strong experiences. It seems to her that life is passing by, and the best years have been wasted. Often, having entered a time of age crisis, a woman finds in herself a desire to give birth to another child.

How to overcome a midlife crisis

The midlife crisis is the signal given to the individual so that he can act. People suddenly remember that they live contrary to their own nature and want to urgently correct the situation. The crisis is designed to draw a person's attention to what is happening in his soul. How to overcome a midlife crisis?

Self-realization

Those who feel strong anxiety about professional inadequacy and want recognition should find your hobby. If for some reason it is impossible to find a new job at the moment, then at least direct your creative energy in the direction that seems most attractive to you. Self-realization is not necessarily expressed in building a successful business. Just be flexible, learn to see new opportunities and opening prospects.

Strengthening relationships with a partner

At the time of the crisis, relations with the second half also suffer. To strengthen the union make time for your loved one. We should not close ourselves only, although the midlife crisis encourages us to do just that. It is best to start spending evenings together, going to thematic meetings that will be of interest to both.

Look after appearance

Both women and men in crisis should take care of their appearance. During the development of a midlife crisis, any small failure can unsettle, deprive of peace of mind. It is important to feel well-groomed and outwardly attractive person. Don't forget to take care of yourself even if you don't want to do it.

Do not cut off the shoulder

No matter how unbearable external circumstances seem to you, you should not try to change everything in one fell swoop. You do not need to immediately file for divorce and part with the person with whom you have lived for a long time. Are you really sure that you will be fine without it? Do not quit your job until you are sure that you can realize yourself in a new profession. Should be done gradually, do not chop off the shoulder. Probe carefully, trying to understand what exactly will be considered the best solution for you. Gradually the fog will begin to dissipate and you will see the truth.

Thus, a midlife crisis is a kind of milestone that every person comes to. Remember that life does not end at 37-45. There is still a lot in your power to do and it all depends on the effort, aspirations and perseverance.

Most people have heard that men have a midlife crisis, but not everyone knows how to get through this difficult period.

How does pathological jealousy manifest itself in men? Learn about it from ours.

What it is?

What does a midlife crisis mean for men?

Middle age crisis- this is an emotional state, it is distinguished by the duration of the course, depressive manifestations, reassessment of values, attempts to prove one's worth.

The severity of its course depends on many reasons. Some representatives of the stronger sex go through this period unnoticed, others abruptly change their lives.

Sometimes reactions or actions are completely atypical for a particular person, cause bewilderment in others and provoke.

A man suddenly begins to remember missed opportunities, mistakes, his ceases to suit its current state. There is irritability, the desire to change your life. It is during this period that families often collapse when he begins to search.

The man believes that he is still full of energy and is quite capable of competing with younger ones. What has been achieved does not seem so desirable and necessary.

During times of crisis, men often radically change their lives. However, it also happens that he goes into a binge, is protected from contacts with friends.

Despite the popularization of psychology, some men do not realize what is really happening to them, so they do not try to look for ways to get out of a negative state.

When does it start?

The men's crisis is coming after about 35 years.

For some, the period falls on the age of 40 years and older.

Depends on the general psychological state, status, support of relatives, exposure to stress. Continues until about 55 years.

The first harbingers of the crisis may appear at the age of 30, and for some men it is already in full swing. There has been a tendency for its earlier onset in recent years.

This is probably due to an increased level of stress, a large flow of information, unstable financial condition. At this age, a person is already aware of his place in life, achievements, is able to evaluate missed opportunities and personal mistakes.

In addition to the psyche of the person himself, society also puts pressure on a man, evaluating him in terms of what he has achieved.

If his peers are far ahead in their careers, creating a family, self-development, this can negatively affect, especially if a man dependent on the opinions of others of people.

The lack of inner harmony and self-sufficiency aggravates the course of the crisis, becomes the cause of an earlier manifestation and a protracted course.

Why does it arise?

Main reasons:

The crisis may be triggered by additional factors:

• preserved from childhood;
• mistakes in education that affected the future life of a man;
• weak character.

With the appearance of the first signs, one must be aware of them and try to build a life in such a way that the difficult period is lived as efficiently and comfortably as possible for the individual.

How is it manifested?

Before saying that a man has a midlife crisis, it is advisable to familiarize yourself with symptoms and signs:

At this age, thoughts may arise about the inevitability of death, approaching old age, which causes an increase in stress levels, fears for one's life and the lives of loved ones.

As a rule, a crisis does not start because of only one problem. A combination of situations and internal changes can push for its development. The less a man achieved in the previous period, the more pronounced the crisis.

Effects

The consequences can be of various directions: favorable, unfavorable.

1. Favorable. Reassessment of relations with his wife for the better. Self-development. Change of job to a more successful and desirable one. Setting more realistic goals. Return to normal life with a positive outlook on the world.
2. Adverse. Divorce from wife. Depression. Alcoholism. lover or more. An attempt to return to his abandoned wife, but, most likely, they are no longer waiting for him there. Loss of work, financial well-being.

How to become a confident man? help you!

How to overcome?

What to do? To begin with, it should be understood that not all advice is acceptable to a particular man, each case is individual. If the crisis took on a severe form. consultation with a psychologist or psychotherapist is recommended.

You should not limit social contacts during this period, on the contrary, the example of other men will help you see the problem from the outside and deal with it more safely.

How to help your man survive the crisis?

It is difficult for a man to cope without the support of loved ones, so the wife has to make efforts to smooth out the severity and consequences of the male crisis.

It is difficult in a crisis period not only for a man, but also for his wife next to him.

A woman can get bored his whims, depression, alcoholism, and she decides to break off relations with him.

Do not live only in his interests. If a man understands that he is the center of everything for his wife, then she becomes less attractive to him - she does not need to be conquered anymore, she will not go anywhere anyway. Being self-sufficient is also important for your own development and self-esteem.

Learn to support your husband in difficult times. When he fails, do not criticize, do not humiliate, so you lose his love and trust.

In a harmonious family, the crisis passes, as a rule, more smoothly, since a man understands that he has support. A wise woman is able not only to keep her husband, but also to have a beneficial effect on his development, formation, and creativity.

If a crisis has come to you, do not immediately despair, this is a natural stage in the development of a person's personality. Adjust some moments of your life, try to see around as much positive and perspectives as possible.

About the midlife crisis in this video: